Meaning-making and the fundamental attribution error
Humans, including leaders, are meaning making machines. When things happen, we draw meaning from it and the meaning we draw isn’t always fair.
It’s our brain’s way of making sense of the information overload it processes every day. It filters all new information through the unique lenses we have created for ourselves based on our experience of the world. Its purpose, as ever, is to keep us safe.
Meaning making
In practice, meaning-making can sound like this…
A team member who doesn’t take on board our feedback is disrespectful, lazy or incapable of doing the work to our standards.
A boss who doesn’t return our email is rude and inconsiderate.
A driver who cuts us off on the motorway is an idiot.
But what happens when we are at fault?
When we struggle to follow through on feedback, it’s because we don’t agree with it, we are too busy, or the feedback is not clear enough.
When we forget to return an email, it’s usually because we missed it or we just got busy and forgot.
When we cut someone off on the motorway, it’s because we were distracted worrying about work or family and we didn’t notice the car in our blind spot.
This is what Lee Ross coined ‘the fundamental attribution error’. It is the process of seeing others as internally responsible for their behaviour (and thus, defined by it) whilst allowing ourselves the luxury of considering situational/contextual factors in explaining our own behaviour.
In short, when I make a mistake, it’s down to circumstance and context. When others make mistakes, it’s down to their character.
It is one of the ways in which we make meaning from what happens to us and around us day to day. There are many others.
We have a mantra in our house (we have loads actually and my son is starting to get really tired of them 😊) - “there are no bad people, just people who do bad things.”
As a family, we try really hard to consider the context and circumstances surrounding other people’s behaviour. For example:
A kid who is being mean or disruptive at school
A teacher who’s a bit shouty
A friend who told a secret.
Yet, I still find myself judging parents who shout at their children in the street - giving them the label ‘bad parent’. I offer myself all kinds of allowances when I can’t quite keep my cool. “If only they listened the third time I asked!” 😬
It gets worse… Once we have labelled someone as a result of their behaviour, we are biassed to notice all the things they do and say that reinforce our perspective. We ignore all the evidence to the contrary.
How does this manifest in organisations?
When we make up our minds about people’s character based on selective (biassed) information, it can lead to:
Excluding people from conversations that they really should be a part of.
Blaming and shaming people for things that go wrong and not taking responsibility for our part in creating the conditions we say we do not want.
Holding back on giving feedback that might help people develop because we don’t believe they can change.
Limiting people’s access to opportunities for development and career progression or worse, firing them.
Not sharing information.
Brushing problems under the rug rather than tackling them.
Resigning from our job because we see no way of working through issues with colleagues.
When we try harder to notice these automated thought processes and habits, we are, in fact, trying to outsmart our own survival brains - which is why it is soooooo hard to do!
Nonetheless, it is absolutely detrimental to our relationships and our organisations. It’s something we need to be more educated about and bring into conscious awareness as often as we can.
So, how can we avoid the pitfalls?
We replace our assumptions with curiosity
When we find ourselves judging someone’s character based on something they did or said, we ask ourselves: ‘I wonder why [fill in the blanks]’? What else might be true?
This takes us out of autopilot and helps us lean into learning, understanding and compassion.
We replace judgement and blame with radical responsibility
We ask ourselves questions about our role in creating the perceptions that are getting in the way of doing great work with others.
We ask:
What story am I telling myself about what is happening right now?
What story am I telling myself about what has happened in the past that led up to this moment?
What story am I telling myself about what might happen in future as a result of this moment?
This brings us back to the things we can control which is all we ever have.
We do what needs to be done.
We say what we are not saying that needs to be said.
We listen to what is being said but we are not fully hearing.
We reach out, we show our vulnerability, we apologise for our mistakes and we work through the discomfort.
We may end up in the same place where we started or we may see things rather differently.
It’s not soft and fluffy. It’s courageous, hard work that requires us to dig deep. It does not mean that we pander or collude. It means that we are prepared to see nuance and grey which ultimately helps us move forward with our purpose and the tasks at hand whilst nurturing the relationships that get us there.