Defying Gravity
This article is inspired by all my diverse (neuro, race, ethnicity, gender) and wonderful clients and was written in consultation with Sabine Nguini and another female leader who prefers to stay anonymous. Thank you to all of you for sharing your stories with me.
Disclaimer: If you haven’t seen ‘Wicked’ and don’t want any spoilers, stop reading now. Otherwise, read on - I promise the references will make sense.
Elphaba, a witch, never set out to defy gravity or to go against the grain. She was just born different - with green coloured skin. From the moment she arrived in the mystical world of Oz, those in that world had already made up their mind about her.
No matter her intelligence, her ambition, or her heart, people were suspicious of her. And so, before she even had a chance to define herself, the world had done it for her.
For many minority leaders that I coach, the experience is much the same.
They step into roles of influence, often as the only one who looks, thinks, or experiences the world the way they do. The room is rarely neutral - none of us believe we are biased, consciously or not, but we all are, myself included.
To be biased is to be human.
These wonderful leaders and their presence is often seen as either a disruption or a token gesture, particularly when they dare to speak their mind, offering a very different perspective to the dominant narrative in the room.
They are asked to lead, but only within the unspoken rules of the game - stay palatable, don’t challenge too much, and certainly don’t make others uncomfortable. Most women will recognise this too!
Every day presents a choice: speak up or shut up.
Speaking up means challenging norms, questioning biases, and addressing inequities that others either don’t see or don’t want to acknowledge. It means carrying the weight of representation, the burden of proving that one’s presence is not an anomaly but a necessity.
It means risking being labeled ‘difficult’ or ‘angry’ or ‘not a team player’ because their voice often requires others to re-think, reframe, change perspective and sometimes even start again from scratch. And guess what? People don’t really like that - and this leads to minority leaders being cast overtly or covertly as the villain in a story you never wrote.
Staying silent is its own form of sacrifice. It means swallowing observations, ignoring microaggressions, and letting problematic dynamics persist. It means preserving short-term harmony at the cost of long-term change. It means safety, perhaps, but also fading. It is an uncomfortable truth that silence can sometimes be the only way to survive in spaces that were never built for you. It can be the only way to reach higher levels of leadership, as Elpheba puts so eloquently, the option is to: “grovel in submission to feed your own ambition.”
Elphaba’s story is one of defiance. She refuses to be silent, to conform, to play the role expected of her. Glinda on the other hand chooses submission - she can see what’s happening and self-protects by aligning herself to the existing power structure. The result: Elpheba is cast as the Wicked Witch, the villain, the problem and Glinda is veneered as the people’s princess.
The truth is irrelevant; perception is what shapes the narrative.
Minority leaders who choose to speak up know this reality well. They see how those who challenge the status quo are framed as troublemakers rather than change-makers. They understand that being true to oneself can come at a cost.
There’s something really special about coaching the underdog, the underrepresented, those whose voices aren’t heard as loudly or as clearly as others. It strikes me how difficult it is to navigate a world where every decision, every action, every intervention requires a difficult choice:
Do I:
Stand up, speak up, and share my perspective, that is often so different from the mainstream narrative, and risk being dismissed, ignored, or excluded as someone who can’t just get on board like everyone else?
Go for an ‘easy’ life, follow the crowd, don’t rock the boat, and mould myself into thinking and behaving like everyone else so that I’m allowed to play?
DEI experts have been shouting about this for years, and none of this will be news to them. But in the 1:1 coaching room, I get to hear the anguish, the pain, and the struggle of these leaders as they face questions the rest of us don’t even have to think about.
I see how they can fall into thinking that it’s their fault - if I am the only one thinking differently about this, am I the problem? If I can’t survive in this environment and it’s the third time I’ve had to move on, perhaps it’s me?
Another example of this struggle: A South Asian, female leader recently moved on from her senior role in a global financial institution. Upon leaving, she saw the job description for the person who would replace her - only to find that they had promoted the title to what she had been asking for, for years.
And guess what, the internal candidate who is going to get the job - he’s a white, straight, male. She is now faced with the choice of speaking up or shutting up. She has a foot out of the door, would the benefits outweigh the risks? She decided to speak up because that’s what her system is drawing her to do, on this occasion, in this instance.
Whatever you choose is right
This is why I love coaching the underdog, the underrepresented. The coaching space offers an opportunity to step away from the noise and reflect deeply on how you want to show up. It’s a space to consider, without pressure or judgment, how you want to respond to the call to action. There are no right answers.
The story of Wicked makes it seem like stepping back and not engaging is wrong - but it’s not. It’s a choice. Some days, fighting the fight is the right decision; other days, choosing self-preservation is the braver path.
Coaching isn’t about pushing one path over the other - it’s about helping leaders find clarity on what is right for them in that moment, in that context, and on their own terms.
My hope is that when minority leaders feel resourced enough to risk being misunderstood or dismissed, to stand alone and risk their sense of belonging - the story will begin to change. The next person who steps into that space might not have to choose between authenticity and acceptance. They might find a world just slightly more ready to listen.
Like Elphaba, minority leaders do not set out to be rebels. They simply refuse to pretend they are something they are not. And in that refusal, in that radical act of self-ownership, they rewrite the story - not just for themselves, but for everyone who comes after them.
What Can Colleagues Do?
No one will read this and think they are the ones who need to change. But, you do. We all do.
For those who work alongside minority leaders, I invite you to consider this: how can you be part of rewriting the story? The burden of change is on all of us.
My clients all need different things from their colleagues, but these are some of the themes that come up again and again (list generated by chatgpt using my coaching notes):
Listening, really listening - Not waiting for your turn to speak, but actively seeking to understand perspectives different from your own.
Amplifying voices - When you see a minority colleague being talked over or dismissed, step in. Support their ideas, make space for their contributions, and recognise their expertise.
Challenging biases - Call out the moments when stereotypes shape decisions, hiring choices, or promotions. Notice when the same leadership traits are praised in one person and criticised in another.
Asking, not assuming - Instead of assuming what support looks like, ask. Everyone’s experience is different, and what one person needs may not be the same as another.
A Challenge to You
If you’ve never had to think about these choices before, I invite you to try something new. Pay attention in your next meeting. Who speaks the most? Who gets interrupted? Who is assumed to be the authority? Who is expected to prove themselves over and over?
And then - be bold, be brave and call it out. If you don’t feel safe calling it out, call that out! “I have observed something happening in this meeting that I’d like to call out but I’m afraid that I will be criticised for it.”
What Can Organisations Do?
Bringing a minority leader into an organisation is not just about hiring - it’s about creating an environment where they can succeed. This means more than just representation; it requires systemic change.
Assess and adjust - Just as you would for a new hire with specific needs - be it a disability, caregiving responsibilities, or medical conditions - organisations must assess what adjustments are necessary for minority leaders to thrive. Ask: What might they need? What barriers exist in our workplace culture? What changes must we make to ensure they can perform at their best?
Redefine fairness - Treating everyone the same is equality - and it’s not enough. We need equity to recognise that not everyone starts from the same baseline and for a minority leader’s voice to be heard takes a different approach to communication.
Interrogate power dynamics - Who gets to define what is ‘professional’ or ‘appropriate’? Challenge whether your workplace applies different standards to different people. A leadership style praised in one person may be criticised in another simply because of bias.
Create mechanisms for honest feedback - Staff surveys that allow space for nuance to come through, confidential consultations, and anonymous reporting channels can help minority leaders express concerns without fear of repercussions. But feedback only matters if it leads to action.
Make diversity a strategic advantage - Don’t treat DEI as a tick-box exercise. The value of diverse leadership is well-documented - it fosters innovation, improves decision-making, and strengthens adaptability. If your competitors aren’t embracing diversity, your organisation has the chance to outperform them by doing so meaningfully. Catherine Garrod, CEO of Compelling Culture, has a LOT to say about this. If you want to know more, ask her!
A Challenge to Organisations
Before your next leadership hire, ask: Are we truly ready for change? If not, why are we recruiting this person? If you are, what intentional steps will you take to ensure they don’t just survive but thrive?
Creating a more inclusive, equitable workplace is not just the right thing to do - it’s a business imperative.
Change doesn’t happen by accident. It happens when more people and more organisations decide to defy gravity.