My leadership idols
You can tell a lot about a person based on who their idols are. So, I thought I’d share mine and offer a snapshot of some of their profound thinking on what great modern leadership looks like.
My leadership idols are: Brene Brown, Adam Grant and Simon Sinek. So, imagine my delight when I stumbled on a podcast episode with all three of them together! I highly recommend listening to the full episode. Listening to the banter and affection between Adam, Brene and Simon is pure joy.
In the meantime, here is what resonated most for me.
Being a good leader is the same as being a good human being - “who we are is how we lead” - self awareness, kindness, vision, accountability, trust - are simply good skills of being a good human being. Here, here, Simon!
Human connection is at the heart of creating trust in organisations.
Find your ‘why’. Your why should be in service of something greater than yourself. A good ‘why’ is an act of service to another or society.
Leadership is a team sport - none of the stuff is doable alone. Those who have reached any level of authority in an organisation didn’t get there without the help of others. Anyone who thinks they got there alone is an ineffective leader. There are always teams around them doing the heavy lifting and making them look good.
Learning to say “I’m thinking out loud here” is useful in leadership - your position of authority will lead people to follow what you say verbatim. Being clear when you are brainstorming is very important for your team to know when to act.
Range, tone, volume, and pace (of voice) help communicate messages effectively. Being more deliberate about this is a useful tool in your leadership toolkit.
The language you use is crucial! Check out the effect of using these segways into challenging a decision or perception that you don’t understand or agree with:
“Help me understand”
“Walk me through x, y, z”
“That’s not my experience”
“The story I am telling myself is…”
The first criteria of being a leader is that you have to want to be one.
Leadership training won’t make a difference if the incentive structure is such that people need to stab each other in the back to succeed.
We have glorified leadership - high performers who are not interested in leadership are AS important. Leadership is a choice - it doesn’t make you ‘better than’.
Leadership is tough, it requires the willingness to fail in a public way. If you are in a culture where there are great power differentials based on who you are (gender, race, ability) it’s clear that opportunity is not just about access.
We must ask - who gets to be vulnerable and who doesn’t? Not everyone has the privilege and safety to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, trust, accountability, and ethical decision-making - what does this mean for those unable to lean into vulnerability?
Leadership skills needed now that were traditionally undervalued are:
Courage - to speak truth to power, to admit you don’t know, to admit you made a mistake, to have a difficult conversation, to step into discomfort.
To be a learner not a knower.
Asking for help.
The most transformational leaders set and respect boundaries. If you are exhausted, dig into it - what’s the drain? Is it ‘leader self-sacrifice’? Taking empathy and servant leadership too far? You can’t give what you don’t have. Don’t confuse service with martyrdom.
Help can be ‘control’ in disguise. Weaponised servant leadership is super dangerous. The people who become white knights are often the people who have low self-esteem, seeking to prove their worth and receive validation from other people’s approval - OUCH.
Alternative words for Leadership are: facilitator and coach - LOVE this, obviously.
Be the leader you wish you had.
If you are afraid to have a hard conversation with your leader (managing upwards), start there. Saying “I’m nervous to give you feedback” is super helpful for coaches too!
Your style should be to do whatever is effective, to bring out the best in others not to be anchored in a specific style of leadership. “That’s just my style” is not good enough.
Great leaders do not consider themselves experts in leadership. They consider themselves students in leadership. And they know there is always room for growth. Part of the role is to adjust.
In the Airforce, they talk about deep affection for people, that’s how they save lives.
If we can not develop deep affection for people - it’s ok, it’s human. The good leader thing to do is to say: “I value your contributions” and change the person’s line management.
If you don’t care for the people you lead and are not connected with them, none of this works.
And that is why I respect and admire these leadership idols so much. I draw on their work in my coaching practice and leadership development programmes daily.
A question to ponder: Who are your leadership idols and why? What does your choice say about you and your leadership?